The background information: talked to my MD on Saturday (still can't figure out why someone with 20 years seniority was on call for Easter weekend) and she advised me to get loaded up with some fluids if possible. She also mentioned coming in Monday (that's today) morning for additional fluids. I emailed her last night and informed her that since I did not feel better I would be coming in for this.
I called the office this morning and got yet another nurse I don't know (dime a dozen, I tell you).
"Hi. I talked to Dr. Gavin on Saturday and she told me to come in today for some fluids."
"You talked to her Saturday?" (see above, dumb-butt)
"Yes."
"Does she feel you are dehydrated?" (no -- just REEEEEALLY thirsty. I am considering calling back til I get someone I know.)
"I am extremely dizzy and she thinks it might help. I had some fluids Saturday night and it seemed to make it a little better."
"What's your name?"
"Mollie *******."
"Ok. Can you hold the line?" (I have never understood this statement.)
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"Mollie?"
"Yes."
"Did Dr. Gavin want to see you first?"
"I doubt it. She just said to come in and get fluids." (I know that nurses can't make a connection between patient and patient care without a doctor in the middle; that's why I said this.)
"Ok." (didn't ask me to hold this time)
"Mollie?"
"Yes."
"She just wants to talk to you a little first so if you can come in at 1:45 she will do that quick, then get you some fluids."
"I can't. I have to be somewhere at 1:30."
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"When can you come in then?"
"Anytime but 1:15-3."
"How about an hour?" (now why the heck didn't she mention this time slot in the first place?)
"Sure."
"Ok. Bye."
"Bye."
I am now at the clinic. Nurse calls me back. This is where the real fun begins. She did spare me by not taking a weight (which I did not think was POSSIBLE if you are a M.A.; I always thought doing a weight was at the top of every single care algorithm known to them. I soon find out differently.)
I sit down in the chair and she starts digging for a BP cuff. I took off my coat but purposely left my very thin sweatshirt on because I use this as a test for true intelligence. She failed the test.
"I'm going to need you to take your arm out of your sweatshirt." (large eye roll, but I comply smug in the fact that she has failed my test)
"I also need you to uncross your legs."
"WHY." (NOT complying)
"Because it will affect the accuracy of the blood pressure reading."
"What?? I have been a paramedic nearly 10 years and I have NEVER heard that."
The chick is getting pretty nervous. Her superior attitude has faded because she now knows she is in the presence of another health care professional and she can't talk stupid anymore and expect that I will just blindly follow her instructions.
"Well that's what I was told." (I kindly did not point out that since she is going to be so technical about this truly life-saving procedure that she should really be doing it on my LEFT arm and not my RIGHT. Guess she wasn't "told that" in school.)
I uncross my legs, confident in the fact that since I am clearly smarter than this chick I don't need to make her cry on top of that.
Pressure is 120/80. (she must work for MFD on the side)
She takes the cuff off and tosses it back in the drawer. I am ASTOUNDED.
"Don't you even KIND OF want to know what the pressure would be with my legs crossed?? The curiosity is killing me!!"
"Oh. Not really." She keeps glancing from the cuff drawer back to me.
"What?? How you can just believe something like that and not actually test it??"
Still nervously looking at me and the BP drawer. She lets it drop. I fear she is about to cry so I don't say anything else. As she packs up, the doctor is walking in.
I relate the BP story to the doctor, who starts laughing immediately.
"Yeah, that M.A. is pretty...... bland." (they must not be friends.)
The doctor told me that she vaguely recalls something about not having the patient's legs crossed when doing a BP, but she is definitely smart enough to know that its not going to really make a difference.
This whole encounter amazed me for a number of reasons:
1. Seriously -- how can you NOT wonder what the other reading would be??
2. What happens to the BP reading when the patient is hanging upside down by a seatbelt in a car? ("Um, could you please uncross your legs ma'am? I was told in school that it makes a difference.")
3. What sort of condition does she think I have that such a negligible discrepancy in BP readings would make a difference in my treatment today?
4. Doesn't she know that ANY two BP readings are going to vary enough between consecutive readings as to negate any possible effect of leg-crossing anyway??
When I got down to Urgent Care (I know these RNs from doing multiple transports out in a previous life) I told them this story and the two girls were peeing themselves laughing. So I said, "Is it even an OPTION to not check my pressure twice now?"
Well, RNs or not -- these girls knew that this HAD to be done. So we took the pressure twice (on the LEFT arm, btw). Here were the readings: 117/68, 111/70.
Enough said.
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