Theo's Pizza

Called Theo's Pizza today. "Home of the five dollar pizza." We were in town and decided to give it a try.

Pffftttt.

"Thank you for calling Theo's Pizza."
"Hi. Could you tell me what specials you have today?"
"WHAT."
"Specials. Do you have any specials today?"
"We have.... um...today is Wednesday. We only have the $5 pizza. And the medium for $4."
"How big is the $5 one?"
"It's 14" and the medium one is 12"."
"Ok, what does the $5 one come with for toppings, how many?"
"The medium one comes with 1-topping, and the large does too."
"The large is the 14"?"
"Yes and the medium is 12"."
"Ok. I am absolutely, in no way interested in the medium. The $5 is 14" and comes with one topping, correct?"
"Yes. The 12" does too. We just found that some people didn't like as much pizza so we thought we would offer a smaller one at the $4 price."

I hung up.

Called back a few minute later.

"Theo's Pizza."
"Hi. We need to order two $5 pizzas for about 12:15."
"Ok. Can I get your name, honey?"
"Mollie."
"Could you say that again, honey?"
"MOLLIE."
"I'm sorry sweetie, could you spell that for me?"
"M-O-L-L-I-E."
"M-O-L-L -- what was the rest?"
"I-E."
"Thank you, honey. Now what was it you wanted to order?"
"Two $5 pizzas to be picked up at 12:15."
"And what would you like on those?"
"Do they come with just one topping?" (Lol! I had to ask!!!)
"Yes, dear."

At this point I almost took a moment to inform her that I most certainly was NOT a sweetie by ANY stretch of the imagination, nor was I her "honey", or anyone else's, for that matter. I didn't.

"One with just sausage, and one with extra cheese."
"Ok, honey. One with sausage and the other with cheese and extra cheese." (So does the first one come with cheese too? See below for a rant on this topic.)
"Yes. Do you sell 2-liters there too?"
"Yes we do, sweetie. You can just pick one out when you get here."
"Ok. Thank you."
"Thank you, sweetie, and we will see you at 12:15."

So the cheese rant. I HATE IT when people have this conversation:
"What did you want on your pizza?"
"Sausage and cheese."
"You mean extra cheese?"
"No."
"Well cheese comes on the pizza."
"Oh. Ok. Then just sausage."

Have you EVER heard of pizza ANYWHERE on the PLANET being made without cheese? EVER?? Why do people in this modern, pizza-eating world still think that it is necessary to request CHEESE on PIZZA?